Creative Queen Bee

My little sister is my Creative Queen Bee. She is so very talented in so many areas that I wish I were more so. Knitting, crochet, quilting, baking, cooking...she can do it all and with aplomb. To say nothing of her academic achievements, her wonderfully creative frugal lifestyle and her community work. She's a huge inspiration to me.


And she is currently embarking on an epic glove making journey...



This picture is of a pair that she has made for herself...and they're so pretty! Next up, a pair of fingerless gloves that she is currently making for a loved one.

Although I imagine double pointed knitting is a long way off for me, she is a very generous tutor and is always willing to sit and help me with whatever craftiness I am trying to master.

How lucky I am to have her as my sister and my friend!

Blessed

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall possess the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called sons of God.

Matthew 5: 3-12

Chilli con Carne

Chilli is a big deal in our house. It's rare that a week goes by without Hubby suggesting, nay, insisting we have a chilli. Fortunate then, that I love it too!

As with all my recipes, I have no idea if this would qualify as a genuine chilli, but it tastes nice, is not difficult to make, nor does it take hours, so it's a winner in my book!

Chilli Recipe: Serves 4

250g extra lean minced beef steak
200g kidney beans
1 onion, finely chopped
1 clove of garlic, crushed
1 fresh green chilli, finely chopped
1 tspb red chilli flakes
2 tspb paprika
Pinch of cayenne pepper
2 tsbp sugar
Splash of red wine

1. In a large saucepan or frying pan, place beef, onion and garlic and cook until the meat has browned. (No oil is needed to cook with, as the beef contains more than enough).
2. Add the kidney beans and cook for a further 5 minutes.
3. Add the chopped fresh chilli.
4. Add the chilli flakes, paprika and cayenne pepper, adding more or less to taste
5. Add the sugar and stir thoroughly.
6. Cook for a further 5 minutes
7. Finally, add the red wine and stir thoroughly. Cover and simmer gently for about 15 minutes.

And you're done!

'Finding Happiness' - An Unfinished Book Review

I'm reading the most fantastic book. "Finding Happiness" by Abbot Christopher Jamison is refreshing, honest and complex. The title is perhaps too reminiscent of so many cliched 'self-help' books that blight our bookshops, but no one should be put off, as a self-help book this is definitely not.

In this deeply probing book, Abbot Christopher takes us deep into the heart of Christian monastic tradition in search of the answer to that age-less question; what makes us happy?

I'm only a few chapters into this book, but I can see already just how edifying and convicting this read will be.

In those first few chapters, he writes at length about the spiritual apathy that plagues so many that live in our consumer culture. It is this, he concludes, that is at the heart of so much of our discontent. He calls for an avoidance of introspection (of looking into oneself in a selfish regard) and a return to self-awareness, whereby we examine not just our interior world, but also how that interior world causes us to engage with those around us.

It's fascinating, surprising, (I had never before considered that good deeds can be used to distract oneself from a internal spiritual struggle taking place) it's wonderfully written and I have a feeling that it is going to have a big impact on my prayer life and the everyday priorities I make.

Now I just need to find the time to finish it!

Inspiration

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God".

Titus 2 vs 4-5

Hey Big Spender!

Much is made about housewives and money. I can't count the number of times I have heard the phrase: "I would love to stay at home, but we just can't afford it". It's widely assumed that in order to stay at home and be a homemaker, your husband must either be really rich or you have to live like paupers, surviving on bread and water alone.

Of course, neither scenario is true. It would be false to suggest that I don't sometimes struggle with the lose of my personal income. Having to budget very tightly is new to me, having become used to having the cash to go out for dinner if I wanted, or buying a stash of my favourite bath products to keep for rainy nights in.

But these are of course luxuries, albeit relatively modest ones. And since coming home, I have had to give up the freedom to have and do these things as I please. But it is quite possible for almost any couple* to maintain a lifestyle that neither deprives them of the necessary, nor forces both parties into the work-force.

And once you start making room for the role of homemaker, it's amazing the contentment and pleasure that is to be found in small, every-day details. A morning cup of tea, drunk in bed while the sun streams through the window. The smell of freshly baked biscuits and cakes which you just know you would never find the time or energy to make if you were out of the house from 9-5 every day. The freedom to stop, relax, or even take a walk when you need to, not when someone tells you to. You don't need wealth to afford these luxuries. Deciding to come home may mean sacrificing new clothes, expensive haircuts, perhaps even a car or fancy house, but for the average person*, it can be done.

But in order for this message to spread throughout society, we need to have a major shift in what is promoted and sold as "necessary". Everyone needs to be able to afford a roof over their heads and have enough money to heat it, light it and cook food in it. But holidays, multiple cars, clothes allowances, trips to the hair salon and the thousands of other items and luxuries which we are told we need are expendable. They're just the icing on the cake. And truth be told, they don't bring real happiness or contentment to people's lives. They're designed not to. If you buy a car and are satisfied with it, there will then be no incentive to "upgrade". The same goes for houses and holidays. But flick through any magazine, or pass any billboard and we are sold the message that nirvana is to be found in the tangible, every-day objects that fill our homes and garages.

It's time for a revolution of thought. It's time to reject what keeps us bound as slaves to money and wealth.

Being a housewife is a powerful symbol of this revolution of thought. It is a message to the world that you don't value yourself only according to what someone is willing to pay you. It sends the message that consumer goods don't bring a household peace or harmony.

It's time to reclaim our intrinsic value and be unashamed of what we do and why.

So to all housewives: Embrace what you do! Be proud of this happy calling. And when 'they' question you with a sneer of their face and contempt in their voice, about "just what it is that you do all day"... tell them you're changing the world.

Afterword: I am very aware that there are many people who truly do not possess the choice to stay at home. I know, for some families, both mother and father must work just to make ends meet. And of course for a single parent of either gender, work is the only option. This post is not attacking or judging those who must work, or risk losing their home or having their children go hungry. This post is trying to shed light on the consumer mentality so prevalent in our society that prevents many from staying at home, even when they could reasonably do so. It is this that I think needs to be tackled.

Dear Diary

One of the nicest Christmas presents I have ever recieved, I received for Christmas 2009. A beautifully patterned hard-back notebook.

I've been using it to keep a housekeeping journal. It's such a pleasure to be able to write all my shopping lists, recipe ideas and daily reminders in this pretty little book. I even like to look back at previous day's entries and tick off the jobs that I managed to accomplish. I know...I'm rather sad like that!

But I think the biggest benefit in keeping this little book will come years from now when I look back through my journal at this, my very first year at home. I wonder what I'll see? Will I laugh at badly drafted recipes and oh-so-simple knitting patterns? And what of the reminders to return my overdue library books written in HUGE CAPITAL LETTERS? That will serve as a reminder of my ever-present forgetfulness and occasional disorganisation I'm sure!

But more than any of that, I hope it will remind me that life is one long learning curve and that we never reach the summit of our capabilities. I hope it will inspire me to keep plodding along on my home-making journey. And I hope it will help me remember that my life at home, although small, is a life that has not been in vain. Every page is full of meals cooked for people I love, household chores that helped make my husbands day run just that little bit more smoothly and time spent planning gifts for birthdays. anniversaries, Christmas and Easter.

It is these things that I hope to see when I look back in 20, 30, 50 years time.

In total; a life spent at home with the people I love.

Curry Favour

My husband is obsessed with curry. Totally obsessed. And the hotter, the better. He would be happy to eat it every day I think, provided I serve it with a variety of vegetables.

Since this is one of his favourite meals, I've tried to come up with my own curry recipe, one as tasty as his favourite from the local Indian takeaway. It's taken a good few months of trial and error and reliance on ready-made curry pastes but I think I've finally come up with a recipe of my own that I am happy to serve whenever his curry mood strikes.

And as a result, I've fallen very much in love with my spice rack! It's amazing what you can do with 5 or 6 spices and a few handfuls of red lentils.

I wish I could claim that this curry recipe is the real deal, but truth be told, I know precious little about authentic Indian cuisine. So while I have no idea what category of curry this would fall into, (probably not any!), what I can say is it's hot, it's tastes pretty good and it's cheap to make. And that can never be a bad thing.

I've tried this recipe with a variety of meats, and some vegetarian soya, meat substitues but I think chicken works best.

The quantities of the spices used here are all estimates, nothing exact, and they can all be altered according to taste. This just happens to be a combination we like.

Curry Recipe: Serves 4 adults...or 1 adult plus a very hungry husband!

500 g chicken fillets, or chicken breasts, roughly chopped
1 large onion, finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
2 large handfuls split red lentils, rinsed with cold water
2 fresh chillis (I use 1 red, 1 green), finely chopped
1 tbsp tomato paste/puree
1 tspb white sugar
1 tspb soft brown sugar
1 tbsp turmeric
1 tspb ginger
1 tspb garam marsala
1 tspb cumin
1 tbsp paprika
1/2 tspb cayenne pepper
1 tbsp soured cream

Before starting, fill the kettle and boil.

1. In a large saucepan, lightly saute the onion and garlic in a little olive oil until onions are translucent.
2. Add the chicken and cook for a further 5 minutes, stirring frequently. If the chicken becomes too dry, add a little more olive oil
3. Add the lentils and cook for a further minute.
4. Add the tomato paste and roughly a ladel-ful of hot water and stir thoroughly. The water should cover the lentils completely.
5. Add the chopped chillis and another few ladel-fuls of water.
6. Add all the spices plus the sugar and stir.
7. Reduce heat, cover the pan and leave to simmer until the lentils and the chicken are thoroughly cooked. Add more water as required.
8. Before serving, add the soured cream and mix in thoroughly.

You Crafty Thing

I've got the bug. It's so infectious that it's a miracle I lasted this long. But now I've got it and I've got it bad.

I'm obsessed with all things crafty! Knitting, sewing, quilting, crochet...you name it, I want to learn to do it!

I'm a complete novice and I am rather lacking in natural ability but I do make up for this with enthusiasm. There is something so comforting about settling down on the sofa with a cup of peppermint tea and big pile of knitting and sewing books. Although I'm unlikely to ever make even half the patterns I look at, I find them mesmerising.

The picture I've posted here is of my latest stash. Purchased today at 2 local haberdasheries (this is one of the biggest benefits of living smack bang in the middle of a city with all its noise and crowds...you're never more than half an hour away from anything you could possibly need or want).

I'm going to try my hand at a scarf for Hubby. I have a baby blanket currently on the go, but as my knitting confidence grows, I'm keen to get started on some new projects. Eventually, I'd like to learn how to make a whole range of items, from skirts and dresses to patchwork quilts and tea cosies.

In the meantime, I'll bide my time, I'll keep practising and I'll keep on devouring all the patterns and books I can get my grubby mitts on!

True Confessions of a Catholic Housewife

This blog is more a sort of internet based personal diary than something I hope many people read. And I've started it because I would like an outlet for this slightly unusual, un-politically correct side of me that has emerged over the past year or two.

At my age, most people (and I use this phrase loosely as I know people enter into all walks of life at all ages) are busying themselves establishing a career, perhaps finding a flat or house to rent by themselves or maybe still sharing a living space with a group of friends. They will probably be keen to go out of an evening...to restaurants, pubs, the theatre, maybe a nice swanky bar.

I know. I was doing it until recently. I would eat out in upmarket gastro pubs a few times a week, spend evenings mulling over a lovely dinner with lots of red wine and good friends. I spent my days at the office, negotiating with tricky colleagues and even trickier office politics.

I wasn't a high-flyer, nor did I have a huge salary. But I had more than enough for my rent and bills and I was able to use the rest to plan nice city breaks with friends and go to the local bakery and delicatessan for croissant and coffee on Saturday mornings.

That was the norm. It was my norm.

But another side of life began to emerge. Another quiet, more domesticated version of me bubbled underneath. Slowly at first, but over time it gained vigour and momentum.

I started to bake my own bread and experiment with re-creating dishes I had eaten in restaurants and other countries.

I got my own sewing machine and I spent a very happy weekend learning how to handstitch a cushion cover.

I became obsessed with interior design books, books about gardens, recipe books and anything written about domesticity and the home.

I tried my hand at making cakes and scones and biscuits. I made my own ice-cream.

I bought fresh flowers and read up on flower arranging.

I began to stay in more and more. I lived with a friend but I often had the entire place to myself. I relished solitary evenings spent cooking, baking or even just doing some laundry whilst listening to music.

It became a joke amongst my friends...what a little housewife I had become. Male friends seemed to like it, female friends were both encouraging and incredulous as to my motives. Was I unhappy? Was I trying to impress people? Or was I just plain odd? Even I wasn't quite sure at first. I only knew that these things made me calm, happy and relaxed.

And then one day I stumbled across a book on Amazon...quite by accident. It was listed in the bestsellers section. It had an intriguing title: "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". It sounded like an animal care book gone wrong. I hunted it out at my local library. It was to be the start of a complete revolution within myself and eventually, my mind, my heart and my most basic principles were shifted.

The book itself I found to be brash, amusing in an odd sort of fashion. But the most basic principle struck a chord with me.

Be At Home. Always. Let Home be your Work.

Marriage I had always wanted. Very much so. And the same with children. But the idea of housewifery being a vocation had not occured to me. I always thought I would work outside the home until I had children. Only then would it be time to stop. Being a housewife for the sake of being a housewife had never seemed like a viable possibility.

And here I had stumbled across a whole genre of literature (of which that book might be considered very much on the margin) dedicated to 'The Vocation of the Homemaker'. I read more and more books. The role of the housewife became tied in with the role of a wife, the role of a mother. These 3 seemingly distinct vocations merged in my mind and I knew, this was the life for me.

The more I read, the more convicted I became. This beautiful plan seemed to unveil itself. I had always prayed, very hard, that no matter what happened, God would lead me to right-ness. The right place, the right person, the right job. Here, to this new state of mind, I felt myself being led. My very ideas of marriage and home life began to change. Marriage, I found, would no longer be about just finding a life partner, someone to share my happiness and my sorrow and start a family with. For me to succeed in a wifely role, marriage would have to be about service, putting my family before myself and (here's where it gets controversial) being subject to the authority of my husband.

The principles of biblical marriage are complex and in my culture they're considered either a joke at best or at worst, a violation of basic human rights. And yet, the more I learnt, the more I read, the more it all seemed to fall into place. I wanted to give up my independence, and the freedom to do only as I pleased and offer my help to a man who could lead me in life.

I wanted to become a true help-meet.

I'm still only just starting out on this road and so much of it I still grapple with. I'm sometimes bad-tempered, lazy and ungrateful. But I have a certainty that I'm at least on the right road. I know it does not lead to wealth, or success or any sort of accolades. But I know that in it's place it will lead me to somewhere altogether happier and more profound; fulfilment.

I won't say this is the life for everyone, but I do say it's the life for me.

Carrot Cake

Yesterday was baking day. I'm rather too proud of the way this cake turned out as I had adapted and changed the recipe somewhat. I'm still such a novice when it comes to cake making that the little success I have feels like a bigger deal than it is.



Coffee and cake is a classic combination and one I am probably too fond of (Too proud and too fond..not selling my good points here am I?!)

Still...a few pieces of cake can't hurt now and then.

And besides, this cake is a health-food cake...it has carrots in it!


Carrot Cake Recipe:

225g soft brown sugar
225g self-raising flour
225g butter
4 eggs
2-3 medium sized carrots, grated
Juice of 1 lemon OR orange

1. Cream the butter and sugar until smooth.
2. Beat in the eggs and mix well.
3. Add the grated carrots and mix well again.
4. Add the lemon/orange juice.
5. Sift in the flour and mix well.


Bake in a pre-heated oven at 150 degrees C for about 90 minutes in a deep cake tin (I use a cake tin about 4 inches deep). It makes for a very tall, but very delicious cake! Perfect sliced in two halves with vanilla buttercream in the middle.

Big Things Come In Tiny Packages

I live in the middle of a city in a weeny, teeny, tiny house. It is so small we don't even have a hallway. Walk through the front door and bam! You're in our lounge. Fancy it ain't.

And in alot (ok...most) ways it is rather un-suited to life with a baby. The stairs are narrow and steep, you have to walk through our bedroom to access the bathroom and nearly all our floors are wooden.

But I love this place more than any other. Heating bills are manageable, I never have to spend more than half an hour doing dishes and cleaning our little kitchen and it's easy to run around for 15 minutes before any visitors arrive to get the place looking pretty decent. In short - this small house makes light work for this housewife.

Which leaves me plenty of time to do the things that I really enjoy; cooking, baking, playing with my daughter, reading, knitting, eating and taking baths.

Since I came home last year, I've been amazed by the liberation that this lifestyle brings. Once you start only buying what you need and not the things you are told you want, you find a whole treasure trove of time and freedom to enjoy your family and home life. Giving up the enormous houses, new clothes, flashy holidays and expensive cars buys you the freedom to give up the rat-race and all it's accompanying exhuastion and stress. Our society has found a way to be affluent and materially wealthy. But I wonder how many neglect to see the mass spriritual poverty that is so often a by-product of living in an endless cycle of consumption and acquisition. We're among the most stressed, anxious and depressed people in the world. We're sold the myth that more always equals more: more money = more happiness. More possessions = more happiness. It's clearly a miscalculation. Consuming only what you need does not have to mean living without. Quite the reverse in fact.

I can only conclude what many other people have probably realised; quality of life has so little to do with money, possessions and status. Once you can pay your bills, have a little left over and not worry about where the next pay cheque is coming from, you've made it. There is no extra happiness to be gained from acquiring more. The research is there. I've read it.*

So I'll take my titchy tiny house and all the freedoms it affords me. And I'll count myself just as rich as all those millionaires who will tonight come home to empty mansions, paid housekeepers and expensive takeaway meals.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthadvice/maxpemberton/4273227/Men-listen-up-money-does-not-make-you-happy.html

The First Post

This is a secret diary. Funny that a secret diary should be posted on the internet. But this one is anonymous. Or at least as anonymous as I can make it.

For several years now I have had what you could call a rather drastic change of heart. Although raised in a strongly devout Catholic family, I was educated to university standard and I had, until recently, been engaged in a competitive, well-respected area of work.

To all but those few people closest to me, it would appear I have done everything according to the rule book. Degree - check. Good job - check. Boyfriends - check. Pubs, dating, city breaks, dinner parties, cocktails - check check check. Little of it made me as happy as I am now.

I turned my back on it, for the most part and I came home. I have given up the income, the independence, the lack of responsibility for anyone but myself and have thrown myself head first into what I always knew I really wanted: Marriage, Children and A Home Of My Very Own.

'Martha's Secret Vineyard' is just what it says. It is my beautiful, private retreat from the world and all it's stresses, expectations and disappointments.