Thank You

It's not always easy to stand by your principles. It becomes that much more difficult when your principles and beliefs fly in the face of what a lot, ok, most people consider 'normal'.

Don't drink? Enjoy a lifetime of being the designated driver.

Don't smoke weed? Well, you're missing out on a real 'bonding' experience.

Don't want to have sex before you're married? Well, that's just nuts!

Christian children especially are under unique threat in today's world. The media bombard them with over-sexualised, violent and materialistic messages at every turn. It's impossible even to walk into a newsagents without being faced with a barrage of pornographic material, masquerading as magazines and news-print.

So it comes as little surprise that the old-fashioned way of doing things (or NOT doing things) has become just that; old fashioned and redundant. Today's society has moved on from the 'bad old days' of Victorian values and Christian influence and no one in their right mind would possibly consider giving up the luxuries that a relativist, modern society offers. Sex, drink, drugs...you name it, you can do it. And to that I have to say fair enough. Far be it for me to presume to tell anyone else how to live their life. But it seems that the same is not true in reverse. Any young person who does embrace so many of those old fashioned values is, in our world, open to severe criticism. And any teenager defending and championing the cause of abstinence in particular can become the focal point of serious peer pressure and social scrutiny.

However, once those awkward teenage years are finished, most of us expect that we will be able to live our ways as we see fit and that provided we transgress no law, we will be free to make choices that we feel are right, for us, without having to constantly explain and defend our actions

How sad then am I to find that there are many people who live with daily criticism for embracing a traditional Christian life in adulthood and living it to the full. I look back on some of my wasted years, in which I was far from the model of a good Christian woman and I regret not being tough enough to stick by the principles I was raised with.

And so I stand amazed by the courage it must take for many good men and women to repeat time and time again to friends, and sometimes even family members, that they are choosing not to have sex until marriage and that they have no wish to 'test the waters' or work out if they and their fiance are 'compatible'. How belittling for them to have their chaste relationship paraded in front of others as though it warranted a 20 page inquiry document and Discovery channel documentary as a way of 'explanation'.

They are questioned, challenged, ridiculed and sometimes they endure harsh criticism and social ostracism. But they stand fast, hold onto their principles and refuse to let the waves knock them back.

They are true heroes of Christian culture. And to them, I'd like to say a big thank you. For being true to themselves. For being true to their God. And for being so many things that I never was.

Onward Christian Soldiers.

Her Journey

It's been a long time since I've visited The Vineyard. It's been difficult to know what to write about. Life seems to be moving at an exhausting rate. I can hardly keep up. I used to think as a little girl that having a family of my own would be the culmination of my achievements, I somehow thought life would pause. There would be no more journey, I had arrived at my destination.

I find that this is untrue in so many ways. My journey started long ago and it hasn't finished yet, but my daughter's journey is only just beginning. And I find the choices, options and decisions that I need to make on her behalf baffling at times.

Questions about where to live, what lifestyle to implement and how to best educate her are all raging at the present.

I realise acutely how lucky I am to have been granted the opportunity to make such choices.

But with any privilege comes responsibility. Few are greater than the responsibility of a parent to a child.

I'm banking on all the answers I need coming to me when I need them, at the right time.

Until then, I'll keep plodding on with a lot of hope, a lot of prayers and a lot of reading!


"Begin to weave and God will give you the thread".

German Proverb

No IQ

I've been feeling thoroughly stuck for a blog post subject for a while now. I have seemingly endless draft copies of silly little bits and pieces and not one seems worthy of being published! If I were to dare call myself a writer (which I won't...it's too big an insult to writers) then I would say I have the infamous writer's block. So until my mind returns, I'll settle for this lovely quote.

I have found, in my limited experience, that it is most true.


"One learns through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect".

Mark Twain

Nursing Is Natural

Breastfeeding is one of the most hotly and passionately debated subjects within parental circles today. It has widely been adopted within the UK as a symbol for switched-on, intelligent and I'm sorry to say, rather middle class parenting.

I have heard and read countless stories of women who have felt an almost tangible feeling of guilt and inadequacy at being unable to breastfeed, or being unable to continue breastfeeding for more than a few weeks.

But the plain fact of the matter is that breastfeeding is not the domain of only the well off and well educated. At it's heart, breastfeeding is just a simple biological function, designed to keep babies free from disease in their first few vulnerable months and to help them thrive.

That doesn't mean it is always easy however and for some mothers, the difficulty of breastfeeding can outweigh the health benefits.

I'm still breastfeeding at 9 months and although I don't have any plans to give up any time soon, I have struggled with my baby's slow weight gain, thrush and at times a low supply.

The benefits of breastfeeding however, are numerous and wide reaching. It protects against some childhood cancers, obesity, diabetes, general viruses and infections and there are even studies that demonstrate a link between extended breastfeeding beyond 1 year and intelligence levels. It would take a very strong and determined woman to decide that despite all the health benefits, she didn't even want to give it a go.

And yet, there are many such women who for various reasons decide that breastfeeding is something they simply do not wish to do, nor even to try.

I have had numerous conversations and debates with different people on the subject and I have come to realise that alot of the emphasis on breastfeeding; the technique of it, the biology of it, could be what puts so many people off. There are websites, books and classes too numerous to list, all designed to teach people how to breastfeed and to support women in doing it. This of course is a good thing. But there are no support groups teaching women how to mix up a bottle of formula.

I think this can often give the impression that breastfeeding is somehow the preserve of a certain type of women, one who is able through time and money to learn how to do it prior to giving birth. Rarely it is spoken of as just a natural biological function that naturally follows the birthing process.

De-mystifying it could well motivate many more women into giving it a go. I did some preparation for breastfeeding whilst I was pregnant. I bought a book and looked at some websites, but in my pre-baby state so much of it sounded alien to me. Latching on. Positioning. Let-down reflex. I couldn't possibly imagine myself doing it for the very simple reason that I had never tried. What I found after my daughter was born and began to feed was that breastfeeding really does just come naturally...it is just instinct. It helps of course to have support, it helps to know a few tricks. But when all is said and done, mothers and babies are more capable than they know of establishing a nursing relationship and sustaining it by just relying on their instincts and their strong emotional connection.

Breastfeeding is not necessarily easy and I know, as do many women, that at times it is battle to continue, especially during those first few frenzied months of a baby's life. But it is eminently worth it. And it is very do-able for the majority of women.

My motto is: breastfeeding is just like being pregnant and giving birth. It may be painful at times, it may not be easy. But ultimately a woman's body and her baby know just what to do.

9 Months Later...

My daughter turned 9 months old yesterday. This feels like a milestone in alot of ways. She is growing at such a rate now, she is virtually crawling and the sounds and noises she makes are seeming more adult by the day.

It has caused me to sit back and reflect a little on what has been the most wonderful, and challenging time of my life.

It seems like a life time ago that I sat watching two little pink lines appear on a home pregnancy test. That moment changed my life. And I knew it. No longer was I just myself...I was now responsible in every way for another separate, unique individual. That knowledge has a very sobering effect on a person.

And certainly since my daughter was born at 6 minutes to 6 on September the 2nd 2009, that sobering responsibility has loomed ever larger in my mind.

I have had to discipline myself in so many ways and forget so much of what I used to consider essential to a happy life. Sleep for one! I haven't had an un-interrupted night's sleep in nearly a year! Nor do I have the kind of 'me' time that I used to. My daughter may be able to sit up, feed herself and reach out for her favourite toy, but it is still me that must place her on her playmat, cook her meals and get her toys out of their box. No mother needs to be reminded that mothering is a 24 hour, round the clock job. That her practical, physical needs will lessen over time I have no doubt. But I can never see a time when I will feel any less responsible for her; for her happiness, her safety and her character.

I am incredibly grateful for the enormous blessing that is a child. She has changed my life in every way for the better and I am a wiser and hopefully less selfish woman for having her for my daughter.

So Happy 9 Month Birthday Martha!

With Love, From Mummy xxx