He doesn't pretend to understand, but he does always listen.
A trip to shops rarely occurs without him buying you a little treat.
He tells you you look lovely, even when you're wearing a raggy old t-shirt covered in baby sick.
He gently reminds you that for all solutions, there is probably one answer: prayer.
He works hard, every day, to make your life comfortable and just that bit easier. And he doesn't even ask for a thank you.
This is for my Mr. Right...my best friend and life-long companion.
31 May, 2010
26 May, 2010
Looking Upwards
"The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing birds has come".
Song of Solomon 2:12
Song of Solomon 2:12
25 May, 2010
An Old Friend
I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately. It's been a funny old month, May. I've had a few knocks and scrapes and I'm feeling a little worse for wear as a consequence.
And it seems that my blog has suffered a little as a result...not too much posting going on this month!
But that's ok. I wanted it to be a little sanctuary, free from pressure and constraint. I wanted to have a positive space to write down my thoughts and feelings and focus on the happy, good things in life.
This is especially important to do when life takes a less than pleasant turn.
So in this post, I want to return to that old friend of mine, the poem. A friend who has a thought or a verse for any occasion.
The following is a poem I stumbled across quite by accident some years ago in a bookshop. I opened the book and out leapt this beautiful verse.
A lovely poem for a lovely sunny day.
Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Mary Oliver
And it seems that my blog has suffered a little as a result...not too much posting going on this month!
But that's ok. I wanted it to be a little sanctuary, free from pressure and constraint. I wanted to have a positive space to write down my thoughts and feelings and focus on the happy, good things in life.
This is especially important to do when life takes a less than pleasant turn.
So in this post, I want to return to that old friend of mine, the poem. A friend who has a thought or a verse for any occasion.
The following is a poem I stumbled across quite by accident some years ago in a bookshop. I opened the book and out leapt this beautiful verse.
A lovely poem for a lovely sunny day.
Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Mary Oliver
23 May, 2010
Fun In The Sun
Hands up, who loves summer! I certainly do. The UK seems to have been hit by a heatwave today and we're set for a scorching hot summer.Perfect picnic weather! So today Hubby, Martha and I packed a lunch and popped over the road to our local park for an afternoon picnic.
It was really lovely...the lush green trees, the butterflies and bumble bees buzzing about and the splendid look on Martha's face as she realised that yes, she had a whole sandwich all to herself!
I hope everyone has had as lovely a Sunday as we did.
Happy Summer!!
15 May, 2010
Counting Apples
'Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all the apples in one seed'.
Robert H. Schuller
14 May, 2010
Because We're All Worth It
A friend of mine who has just recently had her first baby asked me a question the other day. One that I didn't have an immediate answer for. I'm used to responding to her queries about breastfeeding, baby sleep patterns, techniques for soothing and so on. But this one caught me a bit off guard.
She wanted to know how I slot in time each day to attend to my appearance. As most new mothers can attest, finding even 10 minutes in which to have a quick shower can be a challenge. Trying to look attractive on top of that is even harder.
But her question reminded me that this is actually really important. Not only for ourselves, as women, but also for our husbands and marriages.
Certainly when Hubby first met me, I had plenty of time to make myself look presentable. I wore nice, smart, pretty clothes. I did my hair. I carefully applied my make up each day. I exercised regularly and tried to watch my weight (I'm not naturally predisposed to being slim..it takes me some effort to stay at a normal weight) I wore high heels and overall, I took care of myself.
Fast forward to now and well, things are a bit different. I have a young baby. I no longer have time to spend each day carefully grooming myself. Fancy clothes and high heels are definitely out of the question and make up is not an every day thing anymore. My body is different after childbirth. I am still trying to shift the last of my baby weight as I have had to adapt to a whole new exercise regime (I've devised my own little routine to do with Martha while she is in her baby sling. She LOVES it!). Breastfeeding has meant that my proportions are now different. I am larger in some places, more muscular in others. I have stretch-marks where previously there were none and although I wear my pre-baby clothes they don't fit quite as well as they used to.
But I've realised that I still do try to look nice. For me and for Hubby. But looking nice these days has taken on a different meaning. I will never look exactly as I did 2 years ago. And I'm alright with that. So now, I try to focus more on simply looking presentable, neat and clean.
I have a 'housewife uniform'. A series of floral or patterned skirts that I wear with plain t-shirts. I rotate these, keeping one clean 'uniform' at all times. It doesn't matter if they get dirty (which they will!) as they are not expensive, they are not 'for best' and I always have another to change into. Very handy for when the baby has thrown half her dinner over my shoulder and Hubby is due home in 10 minutes!
I prioritise the 10 minutes that it takes to jump in the shower each day and have a good wash. This might mean that Martha has to sit in her chair or in her basket with little to see or do. She might even cry a little. But I consider this is a necessary evil. Baby does always come first. But Mum shouldn't be entirely forgotten about either.
My hair is long thick and wavy. It needs a certain level of looking after or it is a mess. So each day after my shower I give it a quick brush and then put it in pigtails or a side-plait. Occasionally I wear a headscarf which works wonders for keeping it under control. This is ideal now that Martha has reached that hair-pulling stage!
In the 10 minutes before Hubby is due home, I brush my teeth again, wash my hands and face, re-do my hair if necessary, change my t-shirt is necessary and apply just a little touch of concealer and mascara if I have time. I spritz myself with some perfume or I apply some scented moisturiser.
So by the time he comes through the door at night, I am clean, neat and hopefully looking a little refreshed!
All in all, it only takes about 20 minutes throughout the day. Hardly a major imposition on my time. But it fulfils a few vital roles. Firstly, it sends a message to Hubby that although we are firmly settled into family life, I still wish for him to see me as attractive. There is a temptation for women to begin to see themselves as 'only' mothers once they have a baby. This can have a really negative impact on a marriage. The role of wife should always come first. And part of that role is making an effort with our appearance. It is a very un-PC thing to say, but I really think it is true. After all, how many women would still find their husbands just as attractive if they suddenly gained 50lbs and stopped showering every day?
And secondly, it really does make an impact on how I see myself. I may spend my days doing housework with a baby strapped to me, but that doesn't mean I have lost all sense of who I am as an individual. It doesn't mean that suddenly I don't matter any more or that my value has decreased. Taking those 20 minutes a day is a reminder that it is important that I take care of myself. And it is about a lot more than just looking pretty. Eating well, exercising and relaxing, taking the time to look presentable and attractive...those things all come under the same umbrella in my book. They are all vital ingredients of a happy, healthy life. And us mothers need to be happy and healthy. For our babies...for our families. They depend on us.
So I advised my friend to do whatever it takes to get those few precious moments during the day to spruce herself up. Her partner needs it. Her baby needs it. She needs it.
She wanted to know how I slot in time each day to attend to my appearance. As most new mothers can attest, finding even 10 minutes in which to have a quick shower can be a challenge. Trying to look attractive on top of that is even harder.
But her question reminded me that this is actually really important. Not only for ourselves, as women, but also for our husbands and marriages.
Certainly when Hubby first met me, I had plenty of time to make myself look presentable. I wore nice, smart, pretty clothes. I did my hair. I carefully applied my make up each day. I exercised regularly and tried to watch my weight (I'm not naturally predisposed to being slim..it takes me some effort to stay at a normal weight) I wore high heels and overall, I took care of myself.
Fast forward to now and well, things are a bit different. I have a young baby. I no longer have time to spend each day carefully grooming myself. Fancy clothes and high heels are definitely out of the question and make up is not an every day thing anymore. My body is different after childbirth. I am still trying to shift the last of my baby weight as I have had to adapt to a whole new exercise regime (I've devised my own little routine to do with Martha while she is in her baby sling. She LOVES it!). Breastfeeding has meant that my proportions are now different. I am larger in some places, more muscular in others. I have stretch-marks where previously there were none and although I wear my pre-baby clothes they don't fit quite as well as they used to.
But I've realised that I still do try to look nice. For me and for Hubby. But looking nice these days has taken on a different meaning. I will never look exactly as I did 2 years ago. And I'm alright with that. So now, I try to focus more on simply looking presentable, neat and clean.
I have a 'housewife uniform'. A series of floral or patterned skirts that I wear with plain t-shirts. I rotate these, keeping one clean 'uniform' at all times. It doesn't matter if they get dirty (which they will!) as they are not expensive, they are not 'for best' and I always have another to change into. Very handy for when the baby has thrown half her dinner over my shoulder and Hubby is due home in 10 minutes!
I prioritise the 10 minutes that it takes to jump in the shower each day and have a good wash. This might mean that Martha has to sit in her chair or in her basket with little to see or do. She might even cry a little. But I consider this is a necessary evil. Baby does always come first. But Mum shouldn't be entirely forgotten about either.
My hair is long thick and wavy. It needs a certain level of looking after or it is a mess. So each day after my shower I give it a quick brush and then put it in pigtails or a side-plait. Occasionally I wear a headscarf which works wonders for keeping it under control. This is ideal now that Martha has reached that hair-pulling stage!
In the 10 minutes before Hubby is due home, I brush my teeth again, wash my hands and face, re-do my hair if necessary, change my t-shirt is necessary and apply just a little touch of concealer and mascara if I have time. I spritz myself with some perfume or I apply some scented moisturiser.
So by the time he comes through the door at night, I am clean, neat and hopefully looking a little refreshed!
All in all, it only takes about 20 minutes throughout the day. Hardly a major imposition on my time. But it fulfils a few vital roles. Firstly, it sends a message to Hubby that although we are firmly settled into family life, I still wish for him to see me as attractive. There is a temptation for women to begin to see themselves as 'only' mothers once they have a baby. This can have a really negative impact on a marriage. The role of wife should always come first. And part of that role is making an effort with our appearance. It is a very un-PC thing to say, but I really think it is true. After all, how many women would still find their husbands just as attractive if they suddenly gained 50lbs and stopped showering every day?
And secondly, it really does make an impact on how I see myself. I may spend my days doing housework with a baby strapped to me, but that doesn't mean I have lost all sense of who I am as an individual. It doesn't mean that suddenly I don't matter any more or that my value has decreased. Taking those 20 minutes a day is a reminder that it is important that I take care of myself. And it is about a lot more than just looking pretty. Eating well, exercising and relaxing, taking the time to look presentable and attractive...those things all come under the same umbrella in my book. They are all vital ingredients of a happy, healthy life. And us mothers need to be happy and healthy. For our babies...for our families. They depend on us.
So I advised my friend to do whatever it takes to get those few precious moments during the day to spruce herself up. Her partner needs it. Her baby needs it. She needs it.
12 May, 2010
P.S
A word about comments. For the lovely people who commented on my post 'Gratitude' (thank you!) I did publish your remarks but for some unfathomable reason the number of comments displayed just beneath the post has not changed from 0. It says '0 comments' but in fact, if you click on the comments window, the comments are indeed there. As I said, I have no idea why this is...I.T and I never did mix that well!
:-)
:-)
A New Era
The last week has seen a monumental shift in British politics and, as a result, British society overall.
A new Conservative-Liberal coalition has been formed, one based on the principles of 'fairness, freedom and responsibility'. It's not come as welcome to all however. Large sways of the political parties as well as the general population feel uneasy about this new step. The last coalition government was formed 65 years ago, during war-time. How it will work in this day and age remains to be seen.
Still, I am hugely optimistic about the way the Conservatives and Liberals have vowed to put aside party differences and embrace 'a new politics' in the national interest.
I can't wait to see what Cameron and Clegg will do first and I deeply hope they live up to the expectations and aspirations of the British people. This country is in desperate need of reform. Not only in our politics but also in our homes, our education system, our financial system and just about everywhere else! 'Fairness, freedom and responsibility' have been missing for too long. It's time for a revival.
Bring On The Coalition!
A new Conservative-Liberal coalition has been formed, one based on the principles of 'fairness, freedom and responsibility'. It's not come as welcome to all however. Large sways of the political parties as well as the general population feel uneasy about this new step. The last coalition government was formed 65 years ago, during war-time. How it will work in this day and age remains to be seen.
Still, I am hugely optimistic about the way the Conservatives and Liberals have vowed to put aside party differences and embrace 'a new politics' in the national interest.
I can't wait to see what Cameron and Clegg will do first and I deeply hope they live up to the expectations and aspirations of the British people. This country is in desperate need of reform. Not only in our politics but also in our homes, our education system, our financial system and just about everywhere else! 'Fairness, freedom and responsibility' have been missing for too long. It's time for a revival.
Bring On The Coalition!
10 May, 2010
Gratitude
It's been an amazingly busy few weeks here! Various trips to visit family and friends, birthday parties, Christenings...there has been much celebration and cause to be glad.
This has also been a period of worry in some respects. A time for reviewing what is really important in life.
I frequently look back on my mistakes of the past and lament my poor choices. Motherhood has increased ten-fold my regrets and my resolve to live a better life. After all, I hope to do everything in my power to help my daughter avoid making the mistakes I have made.
And gratitude is a wonderful gift that really enables a person to remember that no matter how much they have sinned, they are also blessed.
Today I'm saying a prayer of gratitude for my wonderful family. For my daughter. My husband. My mother. My father. My sisters. My friends.
I hope to write a longer, more interesting post when time allows. For now, I just want to put this prayer out there into the world. I hope and believe He will hear me.
Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ, for all the benefits and blessings which you have given me, for all the pains and insults which you have borne for me. Merciful Friend, Brother and Redeemer, may I know you more clearly, love you more dearly, and follow you more nearly, day by day.
Saint Richard of Chichester
This has also been a period of worry in some respects. A time for reviewing what is really important in life.
I frequently look back on my mistakes of the past and lament my poor choices. Motherhood has increased ten-fold my regrets and my resolve to live a better life. After all, I hope to do everything in my power to help my daughter avoid making the mistakes I have made.
And gratitude is a wonderful gift that really enables a person to remember that no matter how much they have sinned, they are also blessed.
Today I'm saying a prayer of gratitude for my wonderful family. For my daughter. My husband. My mother. My father. My sisters. My friends.
I hope to write a longer, more interesting post when time allows. For now, I just want to put this prayer out there into the world. I hope and believe He will hear me.
Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ, for all the benefits and blessings which you have given me, for all the pains and insults which you have borne for me. Merciful Friend, Brother and Redeemer, may I know you more clearly, love you more dearly, and follow you more nearly, day by day.
Saint Richard of Chichester
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