A Psalm For Today

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD".
Psalm 31:24

Do Not Worry

One of my all time favourite bible verses is found in Matthew 6:34:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own".

It's such a comforting message. The reassurance that we all sometimes need that we don't need to try to control every aspect of our lives, that Someone Else ultimately has a plan and all we need do is be faithful and trust that He will provide for us what it is we need.

And yet, I realise that putting aside the gentleness and love of God that this passage conveys, there is a commandment here that we are meant to obey. "do not worry". I note that it doesn't say 'try not to worry', or 'practice some relaxation techniques to avoid worrying'. No, it says, quite simply, 'do not worry'.

Well, at the risk of sounding flippant, I have some work to do on this one!

Worrying is almost a skill of mine. Especially since I became a mother. I must spend a good portion of each day worrying about something. And usually, it is over something I can't ever actually control. Of course I know, rationally, that a good Christian hands over all their problems to God in prayer. And I do, quite happily, list my woes (that might be a rather dramatic term!) when I pray, requesting that He send some much needed help my way. But I rarely leave it there and go about my business, confident in the promise that God has made.

No, I am far more likely to mull over the issues of the day; analysing, dissecting and occasionally agonising over their little details. 'If only I had done it differently, then this wouldn't have happened. If only so-and-so hadn't said what they said, then I would be feeling like this. If only I could live in a bigger house/different area/save some more money etc, then everything would be perfect'!

If only. If only...

And what is evident to me, writing this now, is that this sort of mindset is not only deeply disrespectful to God, but it also does me no good.

To spend even a moment of a day worrying and fretting is to lose a moment that could be dedicated to something worthwhile, something pleasant, or even something just silly and fun.

What a wasted opportunity!

So today, I pledge to quit and go cold turkey. No more worrying, no more fretting.

I will endeavour to place my trust firmly in Him, safe in the assurance that He will never let me down.

"For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone".

Psalm 91: 11-12

Thank You

It's not always easy to stand by your principles. It becomes that much more difficult when your principles and beliefs fly in the face of what a lot, ok, most people consider 'normal'.

Don't drink? Enjoy a lifetime of being the designated driver.

Don't smoke weed? Well, you're missing out on a real 'bonding' experience.

Don't want to have sex before you're married? Well, that's just nuts!

Christian children especially are under unique threat in today's world. The media bombard them with over-sexualised, violent and materialistic messages at every turn. It's impossible even to walk into a newsagents without being faced with a barrage of pornographic material, masquerading as magazines and news-print.

So it comes as little surprise that the old-fashioned way of doing things (or NOT doing things) has become just that; old fashioned and redundant. Today's society has moved on from the 'bad old days' of Victorian values and Christian influence and no one in their right mind would possibly consider giving up the luxuries that a relativist, modern society offers. Sex, drink, drugs...you name it, you can do it. And to that I have to say fair enough. Far be it for me to presume to tell anyone else how to live their life. But it seems that the same is not true in reverse. Any young person who does embrace so many of those old fashioned values is, in our world, open to severe criticism. And any teenager defending and championing the cause of abstinence in particular can become the focal point of serious peer pressure and social scrutiny.

However, once those awkward teenage years are finished, most of us expect that we will be able to live our ways as we see fit and that provided we transgress no law, we will be free to make choices that we feel are right, for us, without having to constantly explain and defend our actions

How sad then am I to find that there are many people who live with daily criticism for embracing a traditional Christian life in adulthood and living it to the full. I look back on some of my wasted years, in which I was far from the model of a good Christian woman and I regret not being tough enough to stick by the principles I was raised with.

And so I stand amazed by the courage it must take for many good men and women to repeat time and time again to friends, and sometimes even family members, that they are choosing not to have sex until marriage and that they have no wish to 'test the waters' or work out if they and their fiance are 'compatible'. How belittling for them to have their chaste relationship paraded in front of others as though it warranted a 20 page inquiry document and Discovery channel documentary as a way of 'explanation'.

They are questioned, challenged, ridiculed and sometimes they endure harsh criticism and social ostracism. But they stand fast, hold onto their principles and refuse to let the waves knock them back.

They are true heroes of Christian culture. And to them, I'd like to say a big thank you. For being true to themselves. For being true to their God. And for being so many things that I never was.

Onward Christian Soldiers.

Looking Upwards

"The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing birds has come".
Song of Solomon 2:12

Counting Apples

'Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all the apples in one seed'.

Robert H. Schuller

Gratitude

It's been an amazingly busy few weeks here! Various trips to visit family and friends, birthday parties, Christenings...there has been much celebration and cause to be glad.

This has also been a period of worry in some respects. A time for reviewing what is really important in life.

I frequently look back on my mistakes of the past and lament my poor choices. Motherhood has increased ten-fold my regrets and my resolve to live a better life. After all, I hope to do everything in my power to help my daughter avoid making the mistakes I have made.

And gratitude is a wonderful gift that really enables a person to remember that no matter how much they have sinned, they are also blessed.

Today I'm saying a prayer of gratitude for my wonderful family. For my daughter. My husband. My mother. My father. My sisters. My friends.

I hope to write a longer, more interesting post when time allows. For now, I just want to put this prayer out there into the world. I hope and believe He will hear me.

Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ, for all the benefits and blessings which you have given me, for all the pains and insults which you have borne for me. Merciful Friend, Brother and Redeemer, may I know you more clearly, love you more dearly, and follow you more nearly, day by day.

Saint Richard of Chichester

Perfect

"A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act".

Mahatma Gandhi

What A Flapper

I normally really dislike the 'day before travelling'. We're due to go to my folks for Easter and today is the final day before we make the long journey up to their farm.

Normally, I get into a flap the day before, worrying about whether we've packed enough clothes for the baby and trying to make enough food to last the journey so we won't have to buy horrid service station sandwiches. I usually find myself doing endless rounds of laundry in the week leading up to Travel Day...telling myself that it is probably is a good idea to wash every single pair of socks and underwear, just in case 'something comes up' and we need to take it all.

Of, and of course we will want to come home to fresh, clean bedding and towels, so that'll all have to go in the the wash as well.

Yes indeed, I am not happy to leave my home until floors are washed, toilets are bleached and scrubbed and everything is dusted and shined. I think I'm being organised. Hubby thinks I'm nuts.

But today, I've decided to take Hubby's advice and chill out. He has gently reminded* me on many an occasion that taking it upon myself to spring clean the whole house simply because we're going away for a weekend is hardly a very Christian thing to do, since it only leaves me tired and irritable. Point taken. So today I have only been doing the necessary...with great results!

I've been a kitchen dweller this morning, baking some goodies to take for family and cooking up a soup for lunch with all the ingredients from the fridge that need to be gone by the time we get back. And it makes for quite a pleasant scene. I love a hour or two spent in the kitchen on a sunny day like today, glancing at the flowering lavender just outside the kitchen window.

It reminded me of a really lovely Scriptural quote from Job 37:14:

"Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God".

Life is so much better in slower motion...God says so!

So here's to another beautiful Spring day! Courtesy of Our Friend...



Hubby doesn't really do 'gentle' so this admonishment tends to lean towards something like; "Calm down, you're getting yourself in a flap...it's only a cake after all". Usually accompanied by a much wanted hug...he is the best.

Spring Into Action

March has been a busy month it seems, looking at the number of times I've posted on 'The Vineyard'.

And it's set to get busier still as Hubby, Martha and I career our way up to the north of England to spend the Easter season with family. I can't wait.

It's hard for me to believe that Easter is nearly here...Lent is nearly over...Spring really has arrived (just about!).

I'm delighted though because for me, this is the best time of year. Easter brings with it so much celebration, hope, renewal and inspiration. Flowers bloom, the trees become green...nature itself seems to celebrate the beauty of the Resurrection. Everything seems re-born.

It's also the perfect season to start afresh, make plans and approach life with new vigour and motivation.

Since I will be spending another summer here in our little patch of land, I have big plans for our currently unfinished garden...I'm envisioning rows of potted plants, a little vegetable patch, a finished fence (glances tentatively at Hubby...;-) and a pretty wrought iron gate. Once the warmer weather is here to stay I intend to start!

Life can't get any better than this. God is really, very good indeed.

What's The Alternative?

Hubby and I are somewhat obsessed with 'alternative lifestyles'. By that, I'm not referring to the weird stuff, y'know, polygamous marriage or making a living by growing and selling cannabis. Nothing like that.

What I mean is we're interested in people who eschew the so called usual way of doing things and seek alternatives that focus on producing a better quality of life. This almost invariably means cultivating a sense of contentment with the simpler things in life and making a concious choice not to be a slave to money and consumerism. We've tried to adopt this own culture within our family, feeling as we do that our daughter and future children will probably benefit, spiritually and emotionally.

I'm not saying we always manage this however. Me? I have an unhealthy penchant for 'pretty things', retro kitchenware, coffee table books, expensive food and the such. And my new financial status as a stay at home mother does not lend itself to this. I sometimes forget that I can no longer just go to London for the day at a moment's notice or have a lunchtime splurge in a quirky home-wares store. I'm on a steep learning curve.

Hubby on the other hand, struggles with reconciling his serious dislike for cynical capitalism and his desire to make enough money so that he need not work 12 plus hours a day in a stressful job. He's been there, done that and got the t-shirt.

What we both hope to achieve is a family life where family really does come before jobs and money. We want to find the balance between giving our children the necessary things in life and striving for more simply to fulfil our own selfish ambitions.

Nowhere is this emotional battleground more prolific than in our home...we're a family or 3 (4 if you count the cat) living in a small 2 bed mid-terrace. Hubby bought this house for himself about 6 years ago, as a young single man enjoying the freedoms of his then bachelor life. And for a single guy, this place is perfect. It's really close to the city centre, within walking distance of work and all the shops and night-life. There was ample room for everything he wanted and needed plus enough space for guests to stay over in the spare bedroom. He bought it as an empty shell of a house and slowly worked on it, eventually producing a perfect bachelor pad. Think minimalist furniture, lots of chrome and dark wood. He held parties here, got to know his neighbours and spent many happy Saturday evenings holed up on the couch with a bottle of red listening to Bob Harris on Radio 2.

I'm proud of Hubby for many reasons, but working flat out and saving every last penny so that he could buy his own home and build a nest egg for his future is something really special I think. And as a result, this house is, rightly, very important to him.

Me, on the other hand, well I came into a much loved and completely 'finished' house that had a very specific look and lay-out. Which is a little unfortunate really, since my own collection of objects leans rather dramatically towards the quirky and colourful. I love bright tea-pots and floral cake tins...tea-towels are much better when shaded in candy colours and nothing in this world can beat a big vase of fresh flowers.

Because of this clash of tastes, we have both on many occasions had to make compromises and sacrifice things we love to keep the place looking relatively neat and orderly.

But no matter how much stuff we get rid of, this place is a real squeeze for 2 adults, 1 baby and a feline friend. Or at least it feels that way to me at times...

We have been discussing moving since last year. And as the months tick by, I am getting more and more antsy to do it. Patience is not my strong point. Hubby though, ever cool, calm and collected is adamant that we will wait until conditions are just right. No hasty decisions, NO risky business. He is of course, completely right and at the last count, we might be in a new house by the end of the summer...subject to conditions!

So I am looking at a good few more months in our little home...and it is here that I really need reminding about what it is I am really striving for in life. This is where my interest and my high regard for those maverick, 'alternative lifestyle' folks comes in very handy.

I know, deep down, that bigger houses and pretty things don't actually make people happier. They just make life more convenient sometimes. Life is what you make it and a positive attitude is all that is needed to foster a spirit of contentment and cheerfulness. Galatians 5:22 in the NT speaks so beautifully about the fruits of the Holy Spirit...and of course joy and peace are amongst them. Contentment isn't just a way of life. It is God's will for our lives.

Luckily for me, blog-land is absolutely bursting with folks who have mastered the art of appreciation and live really full, happy, productive, Spirit-filled lives in situations that would turn alot of people into miserable, hard-done-bys. In fact, some of these folks seek out living conditions that challenge them to find contentment and fulfilment in the simple things.

And in my view, this family have absolutely cracked it. They are a Christian family of 4, who having sold their comfortable 3 bedroom home, rented a tiny 1 bed flat before deciding to radically down-size and travel around for a year in an RV. Did I mention that they just had their second baby?

Contentment absolutely abounds in the writings of this woman! Her life is a huge inspiration to me to quit whinging, stop looking ahead to 'the next step' and start appreciating how immensely lucky I am to have a comfortable, warm, safe house in which to raise my daughter.

I too, want to be filled with the fruits of the Spirit.

http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/

'But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control'. Galatians 5:22

'And The Days Are Not Full Enough...'

"And the days are not full enough
And the nights are not full enough
And life slips by like a field mouse
Never shaking the grass".

The above poem by Ezra Pound seems to sum up the year so far...Martha is growing too fast for me to keep up, Hubby has begun a new phase in his work life. Friends are getting married, having babies...some friends have passed away.

Life really does slip by. You make plans, and then you find God has His own plans in store for you.

We religious types are a lucky bunch though. God is constant and faithful, come rain or shine, through life and through death. His promise to us stands true, no matter what He has planned for us.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid". John 14:27

Today, the sun is shining, the winter is over and a new day has begun. May it bring peace to all who are troubled and all who have lost hope.

Deluded: An Individual Response To Richard Dawkins

'The God Delusion'; an already infamous book that is as loved as it is hated, as revered as it is scorned.

I have just finished reading it. I know, it makes very odd reading material for a Catholic during Lent. But I am not afraid of having my faith challenged and questioned and I am certainly not afraid of Richard Dawkins, who has become a sort of religious bogey man in recent years. Last year I watched the documentary on which this book was based, "The Root of All Evil?" and found that it made little impression on me. Being an extension of this work, I wanted to read the book. Unluckily for Dawkins the book has had about the same effect as the film. That is, virtually none.

It would naturally be entirely fruitless for me to attempt any kind of meaningful defence for the existence of God from a scientific standing. Scientifically Dawkins can out-do the best of them, I wouldn't even know where to begin.

But crucially, after reading The God Delusion, it strikes me that Dawkins doesn't actually care that much whether people believe in God or not. At least, not people like you or I, the average weekly church-goer who gets on with his or her life in relative peace with the rest of society. He outlines in the preface that the book is meant to 'convert', he hopes religious people reading it will come to reject their faith and embrace his upbeat, cheerful "isn't the earth just beautiful" brand of fundamental atheism. But he must be painfully aware that the private thoughts and beliefs of individuals he has never met have nothing to do with him, nor do they affect his life. No, I do not accept that this book is aiming to persuade people to an atheistic mindset, despite what he claims. It's primary motivation in my view is to demonstrate that religious belief is harmful to society and the world at large and that religious belief should have no place in government, education or any institutional operation one could name. His purpose in writing is to eradicate conspicuous religious behaviour, the sort that permits people to baptize their children, or educate them in a faith school. Since it is impossible to believe that he cares a fig for what individuals actually think, feel or do in private (in fact he is at pains to point out that he doesn't care what people get up to in private, although his context for saying as much was a defence for the right of all people to "enjoy their sex life..provided they harm no one") , we can only conclude that what he is actually advocating is the demotion of religion to the status of an underground movement; marginalised and placed on the mere fringes of society. His dominant argument therefore is that any religion harms not just it's believers but other communities and most especially children. Events like that of 9/11 naturally lend themselves extremely well to this argument and the abuse scandals in the Catholic church are of course noted, almost with glee (and certainly with more than a hint of crass humour). He does however 'kindly' point out that it is "unfair to single out the Catholics" since every religion is guilty of indoctrination, intimidation and abuse of it's young in his opinion.

He even goes so far as to say that it is abusive to refer to a child according to the religious persuasion of their parents...there is, he writes, no such thing as a "Christian child" or a "Muslim child" or a "Catholic child", just as there is no such thing as a "Conservative child" or a "Republican child". By that reckoning, he is himself a victim of an abusive childhood, given that he was raised an Anglican.

Indeed, in Dawkin's world there can be no redeeming feature of religious life. Even poor Mother Teresa of Calcutta is branded "hypocritical and sanctimonious" and unworthy of her Nobel Peace Prize after she publicly stated during her acceptance speech that the biggest threat to peace was abortion.* You know of Mother Teresa of course, the same woman who declared that she would adopt, love and look after any and all unwanted children, no matter their race, religion or background. Yes indeed, what a hypocrite...

It would of course be foolhardy for any religious person to attempt to claim that the actions of religious men and women are beyond the pale. There is no counter-argument in the face of the devastation caused by suicide bombings, sexual abuse and centuries of religious wars.

But what Dawkins is calling for, namely the removal of religion from the public life of society is in itself an abuse of the basic human rights of individuals and communities. That no religion has a right to impose it's beliefs and ideals on another sector or community goes without saying. Or at least it should go without saying. But the "solution" as proposed by Dawkins and those of a similarly militant, fundamentalist atheistic persuasion equally strips people of a fundamental right.

Decades of religious oppression in Soviet Russia demonstrate the truth of this, in ugly fashion. Religion was stricken from the history books, churches were destroyed, children were indoctrinated in schools and clergy and lay people alike were murdered, tortured and imprisoned for practising their beliefs. But crucially, despite years of crushing, violent oppression, religious belief was not and could not be eradicated in Russian society. Children were secretly baptized, families secretly prayed together, priests still secretly celebrated Masses for the faithful. And in the aftermath of the collapse of the USSR, religious life resumed publicly with increased zeal and vigour.

Religion, or faith, has been inherent in almost every culture and every society since time immemorial. And not, as Dawkins would have us believe, because man is unable to understand the true nature of the world around him. Science has opened up space and shrunk the earth...we can travel to all corners of the globe and we have left no stone unturned. We have literally been to the moon and back. And after it all, we still believe.

Faith can not be eradicated. Scientific advancement can not extinguish it. Man can not crush it.

Dawkins mission of conversion and universal atheism is doomed to be reconciled to the intellectual scrap heap. Where human life abounds, faith in the divine abounds.

So he's welcome to call me deluded if he wants to. I'll even defend his right to do so. But wishing for a world without faith and trying to make it happen? That's really nuts.



*Dawkins pointedly fails to provide the entire quotation from that speech, which is: "And this (abortion) is what is the greatest destroyer of peace today. Because if a mother can kill her own child - what is left for me to kill you and you kill me - there is nothing between".

PS - Thanks for reminding me about "The Whisperers" Dad!

The Bible: Rewritten

I'm happy to admit that I like to watch TV on occasion. I'm very aware that it is de rigeur at the moment to publicly declare oneself a TV-a-phobe, but I don't. I love watching 'American Idol' and I'll definitely be tuning in to see what happens at this year's Oscars.

I also love a good, engaging documentary. So naturally, my curiosity was aroused when I happened upon a show titled "The Bible: A History". The episode I watched centred around the writings of St. Paul and the impact he had and does have on our society today.

It started out well. The presenter, a historian whose name escapes me right now, was engaging and interesting. He provided a lot of interesting tidbits about St. Paul and much of the film was shot in locations that Paul lived and worked in.

So far so good.

The programme was also keen to address the content of Paul's letters and to place his teachings in our modern setting and see how they could best be applied.

Now, anyone who has read the letters of Paul in full will be all too aware of his admonishments concerning the role of women, particularly in the church and in the home. In light of the past 40 years, reading them makes for an uncomfortable experience for a lot of people. And I simply couldn't wait to hear what our learned narrator had to say on the subject!

I was, perhaps predictably, disappointed. As the presenter focused on the first letter of St. Paul to Timothy (or 'The First Epistle of St. Paul The Apostle'...try saying that three times quickly after a glass of wine!), he highlighted this particular passage:

"But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence" - 1 Timothy 2:12.

Even to me, a person of little in depth knowledge of the Bible, the teaching here is clear and unambiguous. Women are not permitted to be priests, or pastors or in any position of spiritual authority. Nor are men to be subject to women in the home. Men are leaders in spiritual and family matters. Simple enough concept.

Naturally, the documentary makers had other ideas. We were introduced to another historian who very kindly explained that "scholars" (she wouldn't name names) today believe that not all of the letters that appear in the NT under Paul's name were actually written by Paul. There are, she enlightened us, 7 definite Pauline letters (again...she wouldn't name them) but the authorship of the rest is in dispute. The particular passage in question, in the letter to Timothy she explained, probably had not been written by St. Paul, but by some later Christians who felt uncomfortable with Paul's 'radical' theology and in particular, his views concerning the "oneness" of all people in Christ:

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28

And so, our programme concluded, we can dismiss these uncomfortable, archaic teachings and embrace a new radical theology, the true theology of Paul and all live as one, equal and indifferent in Christ. Jew and Gentile, man and woman, straight and gay. Bam! End of programme. Roll credits.

Sigh...

Whilst I in no way dispute what Paul wrote to the Galatians, I also do not dispute the teachings that appear in Timothy, Ephesians, Corinthians and more.

It is true, there are numerous passages in the Old Testament and New and particularly in the writings of Paul that, in the wrong light, can be seen to diminish the role of women and perhaps even oppress and degrade women. We are to keep silent in the churches, we must submit to our husbands, in everything. We are expected to be keepers at home, to raise our children ourselves and to live a way of life that is in direct contradiction to most of what we are taught in schools, higher education and by the media and government.

On the face of it, these admonishments can appear to marginalise us. But viewed in the correct context, these teachings simply outline for women our God ordained spheres of authority and control. We are to be our children's primary carers. What an enormous responsibility! Their day to day education and moral training is our job. We need not concern ourselves with leading the family unit, or making decisions that could potentially impact ourselves and our families for years, maybe decades to come. We are freed from the burden of sole financial responsibility and instead, we our made the boss of our own workplace - the home.

We could consider that by submitting to our husbands we are taking second place or we could consider that by choosing to submit to our husbands we are enabling them to fulfil their God ordained role as leader and head. Without our co-operation, their role is made almost impossible.

Women in a position of submission hold far more power than they even know! And it is this key 'contradiction' that they makers of this documentary failed to recognise. Paul wasn't a chauvinist or a misogynist. Women are not instructed to be submissive and "in silence" because we are lesser beings. Our historian friend is so right when he says that in Christ, we are all equal, men and women are of the same value. But crucially our roles, our specialisms are different. And we can best serve our families, our churches and ultimately God by respecting these natural differences and throwing ourselves 100% into the work given to us.

It occurs to me that if we can trust in our faith that a man named Jesus who lived 2000 years ago came to earth from heaven, was crucified and died for our sins and three days later was resurrected from the dead then surely it's not that much of a stretch to believe that the writings of his faithful servant and ardent follower St. Paul just might have something worthwhile to teach to today's world, even if some learned "scholars" dispute their authenticity.

Perhaps our documentary film-makers should have more accurately titled their programme, "The Bible: Rewritten".

After all, that's what they tried to do.

"Jesus Of Nazareth" - An Unfinished Book Review

I love being reminded of why I am Catholic. I sometimes go through phases of disillusionment with the Church. The abuse scandals, stories of errant priests and even church politics...it can all make me put on my sulky, judgemental hat and silently wish I were a Quaker (no hierarchy, no disputes over doctrine, in fact, not much talking at all!)

Ah, but then He steps in and sends me a little reminder of all that is best about Catholicism.

Last week, that reminder came to me in my local library. I had only gone there to return some books and I had little time to spare with a fussy, teething baby strapped to me. But just by chance, I caught sight of the book "Jesus of Nazareth". I grabbed the only copy, rushed through the check out and hurried home. I am very glad I did.

This is the first book written by our Pope Benedict and it is gloriously simple in it's aim. It is his "personal search for the face of the Lord".

I wish I were smart enough to do justice to this book and describe how profound it is. But I can't. It is at times bewilderingly complex and I find myself re-reading passages and sentences many times over trying to get to the root of what the author is saying.

In basic form, it is a review of the Jesus of the Gospels and it outlines the key stories and ideas about Him, starting first with His baptism. It is, in part, an attempt to rescue Christ from the many modern interpretations of the New Testament which portray Him as something which He is simply not (whether that be just a wise teacher, a revolutionary military leader, a lover to Mary Magdalene or even more startling, a lover to St. John).

Reading it, I'm astonished by how much I don't know about Him and the world in which He was first revealed. Particularly striking for me was a simple 2 page discussion of the role of Barabbas. I had always thought of Barabbas as a crazed figure, a murderous mad-man whose public image Pilate was depending on to keep him from having to pass judgement on Christ. Our author reveals that actually, Barabbas was more likely a revolutionary leader, a sort of "messianic figure" who had led a recent uprising in the area. I learnt that his name, Bar-abbas, means "son of the father"...and that the choice Plate offers the people between these two messianic figures is no accident. My jaw dropped...and this was just a taster.

Passages and stories from New Testament are dissected and analysed in such intricate detail. Seemingly innocuous sentences and phrases are given new depth and meaning. And more times than I can count, the writings in the NT are linked to Old Testament prophecies and passages, demonstrating just how rich and layered the Judaeo-Christian faith is.

I can't wait to finish this book and though it will probably take me some time (I was using my dictionary before I had finished the first chapter!) it is going to be infinitely worth it.


'The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple'.
Psalm 19:7

The Lenten Bookshelf

Life can get horribly complicated at times and I for one, find it all too easy to get completely wrapped up in the most insignificant of events.

But the season of Lent is the perfect antidote to this kind of 'internal noisiness'. Lent is the time to take a mental step back from the world, look deep into oneself and reflect.

And I find it helps enormously to have some sound religious and spiritual reading material on hand to assist me in this.

These are the items currently sitting on my 'Lenten bookshelf':



1. The Bible - A perpetual source of knowledge, wisdom, inspiration and comfort. Essential reading at all times of the year, but especially leading up to Easter.

2. "St. Therese of Lisieux" by Kathryn Harrison - This is a re-read. Well, actually, it's more like a re-re-re-re-re-read! But I absolutely adore this book. I don't know why or even how I came to read it in the first place but the story and the life of St. Therese has fascinated me ever since. I have come to think of her almost as my own patron saint. She embodied everything that is best about the faith. She had one goal in mind, to love Christ. And she succeeded in committing every action, every word and almost every thought to Him. And yet she was precocious, unusual, even childish and silly at times. She stands for me as the ultimate example that we do not need to be perfect to love God. By His grace all of us are capable of being saints.
This book doesn't shy away from the difficult aspects of her life and her struggle through what is called the "Dark Night of The Soul" is depicted very sharply. Kathryn Harris succeeds in making her subject seem above all, human. A beautiful book.

3. "Created To Be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl - This is a book aimed at Christian women who are, or are preparing to be, wives and mothers and whilst it's focus is distinctly not Catholic, there seems to be some really useful challenging stuff in it. It looks to be a very interesting read!

4. The Catechism of The Catholic Church - Found on the Vatican website (www.vatican.va). This I have undertaken to read this Lent to get a better understanding of the faith from a practical view. A sort of ABC of Catholicism!

I hope, after these 6 weeks, to be better grounded in the faith and to have a fresh, motivated outlook on life.

To all those observing the season, may you have a peaceful and productive Lent!

The Power of A Psalm

The power of prayer, in my view, cannot be over-estimated. And although God already knows our hearts, minds and all our 'whys and wherefores', being able to place all our worries in His hands is truly a liberating and wonderful experience.

But I sometimes struggle to construct prayers that I think are truly meaningful. Prayers that truly convey how I feel and what I need help with.

And so I often turn to the best source of inspiration, The Bible and in particular, the book of Psalms. This book has been used for centuries as an aid to monastic and prayer life and the celebration of Mass always includes the recitation of a psalm, in response to the First Reading, which helps to remind Catholics of these beautiful writings.

And with the revival of the Liturgy of The Hours, the psalter has made something of a come back!

For me, the Psalms are amongst the most poetic and emotive words ever committed to paper. And I often find myself turning to them for help, inspiration and comfort. In this book are contained prayers and verses for just about any occasion, feeling or experience.

The below are a few snippets of my favourite psalms.

Psalm 15 Vs. 1 - 3

Preserve me God, I take refuge in you
I say to the Lord "You are my God
My happiness lies in you alone".

Psalm 101 Vs. 1 - 3

O Lord, listen to my prayer
and let my cry for help reach you.
Do not hide your face from me
in the day of my distress.
Turn your ear towards me
and answer me quickly when I call.

Psalm 102 Vs. 1 -6

My soul, give thanks to the Lord
all my being, bless His holy name.
My soul, give thanks to the Lord
and never forget all his blessings.

It is He who forgives all your guilt,
who heals every one of your ills,
who redeems your life from the grave,
who crowns you with love and compassion,
who fills your life with good things,
renewing your youth like an eagle's.


Taken from The Grail Translation, the translation used in the Catholic Liturgy.

Other translations, such as that found in the Jerusalem Bible (pictured above), amalgamate Psalms 9 and 10 and therefore Psalm 15 in the Grail Translation may be found under Psalm 14 in other versions.

Lenten Challenge

It's nearly that time of year again. Lent. In a week's time there will come 40 days and 40 nights in which to reflect, pray, repent and deny to self.

I'll admit I don't enjoy Lent. I know for some people the challenge of self-control and the extra focus on prayer is inspiring and positive, but I don't find it so. I always do participate in the Lenten challenges though. I observe the no meat on Fridays rule, I confess and I give up something I love for the duration but often-times, the spirit of the season is really lacking in me. Giving up chocolate is not so hard to do, but vowing not to moan about it is a real challenge!

But this year I sense that things will have to change. I will have to up my game and really throw myself into Lent with the right attitude. Since becoming a mother and realising the enormous responsibilities that this brings, I see that in future I will be the example that my daughter follows, in so many areas of life. If I am to expect her to observe this season, and to benefit spiritually from it, I will have to show her how to do it. And this year is an excellent year to begin for I have been challenged by Hubby to attend Mass every day during Lent as well as observing all the other usual practices. And what better reminder could there be of the meaning of Lent than celebrating Mass every day?

So this year, I've decided that instead of spending another 6 weeks moaning about the fact that I'm not eating chocolate, or watching TV, or buying magazines, or whatever other challenge I've taken upon myself; I am going to spend 6 weeks giving up the things I love, attending Mass daily and not complaining about it.

It should make for an interesting, challenging 6 weeks. But I have a good feeling I'll come out the other side feeling refreshed, motivated and humbled.

Bring On The Lenten Challenge!

*Photo from http://recoveringperfectionist.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/angelsey-llanddwyn-cross-1.jpg

'Finding Happiness' - A Book Review

Are you happy?

You, reading these words right now. Are you happy? Do you even know? Are you sure?

If you are happy (and I hope you are!) I wonder if you're able to explain why it is that you are happy?

I'm happy today. And I can quite easily explain why. I'm with my family. We're on a sort of mini holiday, staying with relatives. There is nice company, nice food, lots of rest and no work to be done. What's not to be happy about?

But supposing we take all these factors away. Suppose instead that I am at home, exhausted from yet another broken night's sleep with the baby, a mountain of laundry to be done and dishes in the sink. I'm on my own until my husband gets home and it's pouring with rain so I can't get out for a walk.

Am I still happy? Would anyone reasonably expect me to still be happy?

And what if my circumstances were even less favourable? What if I had no family? What if I lived alone? What if, instead of caring for a baby at night, I was tired because of ill health? And what if I was incapable of doing the mountain of laundry or the pile of dirty dishes not because I am busy with something else, but because I am so unwell, so tired, that I'm unable to find the strength to do the most basic tasks, like taking a shower or getting dressed?

How many people would be able to face such circumstances and still keep a smile on their face and a positive outlook on life?

Well, in his book 'Finding Happiness', Abbot Christopher Jamison might well argue that happiness could indeed be found in a life such as the one I describe.

Using Benedictine monastic tradition as his guideline, Abbot Jamison outlines not a 'system' of happiness, but more a way of living, that he argues, can and will lead to real happiness. The guidelines are based upon pursuit of several key virtues, aswell as ackowledgment and denial of several 'demons' that act as obstacles to inner peace and happiness.

So far, so Catholic. And yet, this book is so much more than just an overblown advertisement for organised religion. You don't need to be a Catholic to follow Abbot Jamison's fantastic advice. In fact, you don't need to be religious at all.

For all people, religious or otherwise, a life lived in pursuit only of personal pleasure is incapable of bringing deep and lasting happiness. Pleasure can only be defined in vague terms. At most, it can be basically summed up in the rather wishy washy expression "feeling good". Happiness in this context is distinct from pleasure. It can be best defined as "purity of heart". It has nothing to do with personal circumstances, who you are, what you own, your job, your family, your achievements or lack of them. Happiness can never be bought, or sold, nor it is something that is given to you by someone else. It exists solely in the internal workings of a person; in their mind, their heart and their soul.

Achievement of purity of heart requires that we embrace humility, magnanimity and self-control through chastity and our relationship with food. It also requires that we reject the demons that enslave us, of which says the author, pride and vanity are the most destructive. They are the sins of the soul, destined to rot our relationship with ourselves, those around us and for those of a religious persuasion, they are sure to rot entirely our relationship with God.

In it's most basic form, this book beautifully and eloquently unveils that most paradoxical element of Christianity. For us to be exalted, we must humble ourselves. But whoever would exalt himself will find himself humbled. This does not mean that each of us must leave our homes and families and exercise a mass exodus to the nearest monastery or convent (although St. Benedict did make the radical assertion that private ownership was "an evil practise". Gulp).

But what it does mean is that each of us needs to embrace a level of personal responsibility for the communal happiness of those whose lives we affect. Happiness does not exist in a bubble. By rejecting greed, anger, vanity and pride, we will place ourselves in a position to more effectively help others. This will bring us, and others, true and lasting happiness and peace.

It is this basic message that acts as a guide for the way of life that the author advocates.

The book serves as a powerful rebuttal to the old adage that people should be able to do as they please, provided they hurt no one. It is also a wholesale rejection of the excesses of the consumer culture we live in.

In short, it's radical, it is accusing and it has the power to change lives. I think it has changed mine.

T.L.M - To Learn More?

As anyone reading my little blog might have guessed, I am Catholic. I come from a strongly Catholic family. We did, and do, celebrate Mass every Sunday along with every holy day of obligation.

But in recent years, with the arrival of a new parish priest, we as a family have been introduced to the celebration of our faith in Latin!

Known in short as TLM; Traditional Latin Mass, the Tridentine Mass, The Extraordinary Form of the Mass...whatever it is called, it sounds slightly old-fashioned with maybe just a hint of grandeur. And in truth, it is.

This is Mass 'old-school'...the priest has his back to the congregation at all times except the homily and the entire service is conducted in, yep, you guessed it folks, Latin.

And in truth, this poses a few problems for me in some respects. I find it hard to engage with the service fully as I mentally scrabble with the translation whilst straining my ears to try to hear what Father is saying.

And yet, through the most unlikely of people, I have seen the Mass through fresh eyes. Last night, as I attended our monthly Sung Latin Mass, I was, as usual, grappling to keep up with the rapid pace and the foreign language when I caught a glimpse of my daughter's face as she sat happily in my husband's lap. Smiling brightly, and cooing, she looked blissfully happy and entertained. The lights, the incense, the organ and the singing. It is a beautiful experience. And by her face, I was instantly reminded that Mass need not be an intellectual experience. I was forgetting it's true purpose, getting lost in my worldly thoughts and frustrations. No real comprehension is absolutely required. Even a 5 month old baby is capable of participating in and enjoying the experience.

Mass, even the Latin Mass, is truly for all. The Catholic Church is the Universal Church and every Mass is the opportunity to be close to Christ, to remind ourselves of the sacrifice He made and to ask Him to help us. Most crucially, it is THE time to ask Him to forgive us.

Everything else...the music, the lights, the candles, the rhythmic sound of the Latin prayers...they're all just the icing on the cake.

Last night, sat in that smoky church, it dawned on me that for me, T.L.M might just mean 'To Learn More'.

Blessed

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall possess the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called sons of God.

Matthew 5: 3-12